The Journey Back to Authenticity: Feeling Safe to Be Ourselves
It all comes down to one simple, yet profound truth: human beings need to feel safe. From the moment we enter this world, our most basic instinct is survival. As newborns, we rely on our parents to create a sense of safety—a cocoon where we feel secure, loved, and protected. This primal need is the foundation upon which our emotional and psychological well-being is built.
But what happens when that sense of safety is threatened? When, as children, we are yelled at, mistreated, or asked to suppress who we truly are to meet others' expectations? We begin to disconnect from our authentic selves.
The Cost of Disconnecting from Ourselves
As young children, we quickly learn that expressing what we truly want or being who we truly are might lead to rejection, punishment, or even ridicule. To protect ourselves, we adapt. We become what others—our parents, teachers, peers, and society—want us to be. This is how many of us lose touch with our inner selves.
Over time, this adaptation becomes second nature. We wear masks—versions of ourselves carefully crafted to gain approval and avoid conflict. But these masks come at a cost: we lose our authenticity. In essence, we participate in what some call the “genocide of authenticity,” where the fear of being our true selves drives us to conform.
The Cycle of Inauthenticity
When we grow up wearing these masks, we often pass them on to the next generation. As parents, if we haven’t done the inner work to heal and reconnect with our authentic selves, we unconsciously teach our children to do the same. Without realizing it, we may impose our ideas and expectations on them, perpetuating the cycle of conditional love: “Behave well,” “Do as I say,” “Be who I want you to be.”
The result? Another generation of human beings disconnected from their inner truth, living in fear of rejection, and shaped by external influences rather than their own desires and purpose.
Reconnecting with Ourselves Through Inner Work
The journey to breaking this cycle begins with us. Inner work is essential to reconnect with who we truly are and to shed the layers of conditioning that have kept us inauthentic. By doing so, we can:
Rediscover Our True Desires: When we strip away the masks, we can see what we genuinely want and need.
Live Our Mission: When we align with our authentic selves, we naturally gravitate toward our true purpose.
Raise Authentic Children: By modeling authenticity, we empower our children to embrace their own unique paths.
Parenting with Authenticity
When we’ve done the inner work, we can raise our children in a way that fosters their inner strength and individuality. We can:
Respect Their Path: Understand that their journey is theirs, not ours.
Create a Safe Space: Allow them to express themselves without fear of rejection.
Guide with Love and Patience: Teach them with compassion, understanding, and openness, rather than control or criticism.
When children grow up feeling safe to be themselves, they don’t need masks. They learn to navigate the world with confidence and authenticity, unshaken by external pressures. They can live in their own flow, fulfill their unique mission, and contribute meaningfully to the world around them.
A New Way Forward
The journey to authenticity begins with self-acceptance. When we embrace who we truly are, we create a ripple effect that touches our children, our relationships, and ultimately, the world. Let us break the cycle of inauthenticity and create a future where being ourselves feels safe, celebrated, and fulfilling.
Katiana
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